I LOVE your article!! There are so many things which resonated with me. One of your statements: "Dutch people don’t see directness as confrontation", brought my entire childhood back to me. I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan where that is the way people communicated. My parents decided to move to Chapel Hill, NC in 1963 when I was 10. My m…
I LOVE your article!! There are so many things which resonated with me. One of your statements: "Dutch people don’t see directness as confrontation", brought my entire childhood back to me. I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan where that is the way people communicated. My parents decided to move to Chapel Hill, NC in 1963 when I was 10. My mother was from Virginia, and a Southerner in every sense of the word and therefore never at ease in the North. In the South, directness IS confrontation. The difference between the two worlds was stark, and, for a child, incomprehensible. Ironically, as life would have it, I've ended up in Charleston, SC for the past 42 years -- a city which has been voted "The Most Polite City" in the U.S. for almost all of the last 10? 20? years. It is now I who find the directness of Northerners to feel rude! So strange... (Vermeer is my favorite painter, so I like that part of what you wrote, too!) I spent some time in Saba -- and if you haven't been there, you haven't ever truly lived! I'm referring to the runway at their teeny airport. The people were all red-headed! My husband is a sherpa, from Nepal. I have had some adventures with him, but no desire to live in Nepal. You are a fascinating person, living a fascinating life!
Politeness is a killer. I grew up with British politeness and not rocking the boat, keeping those skeletons hidden, but that leads to shame and feeling isolated and keeping the status quo. Rock that boat! Ally Henny, a writer I follow on FB wrote: "You can’t stand for justice but never rock the boat." Also as my mom says, "Timing and Dosage" - important to consider when giving medications and also in difficult conversations. https://www.facebook.com/allyhennypage/posts/pfbid02e43R2fB9bX7BAyYceemFgcPsAK2tz5EYuJ7kzqd2ryZv8KhT9yNn2h2zp1MLZcqel
I LOVE your article!! There are so many things which resonated with me. One of your statements: "Dutch people don’t see directness as confrontation", brought my entire childhood back to me. I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan where that is the way people communicated. My parents decided to move to Chapel Hill, NC in 1963 when I was 10. My mother was from Virginia, and a Southerner in every sense of the word and therefore never at ease in the North. In the South, directness IS confrontation. The difference between the two worlds was stark, and, for a child, incomprehensible. Ironically, as life would have it, I've ended up in Charleston, SC for the past 42 years -- a city which has been voted "The Most Polite City" in the U.S. for almost all of the last 10? 20? years. It is now I who find the directness of Northerners to feel rude! So strange... (Vermeer is my favorite painter, so I like that part of what you wrote, too!) I spent some time in Saba -- and if you haven't been there, you haven't ever truly lived! I'm referring to the runway at their teeny airport. The people were all red-headed! My husband is a sherpa, from Nepal. I have had some adventures with him, but no desire to live in Nepal. You are a fascinating person, living a fascinating life!
So glad it resonated - it was a fun interview.
Politeness is a killer. I grew up with British politeness and not rocking the boat, keeping those skeletons hidden, but that leads to shame and feeling isolated and keeping the status quo. Rock that boat! Ally Henny, a writer I follow on FB wrote: "You can’t stand for justice but never rock the boat." Also as my mom says, "Timing and Dosage" - important to consider when giving medications and also in difficult conversations. https://www.facebook.com/allyhennypage/posts/pfbid02e43R2fB9bX7BAyYceemFgcPsAK2tz5EYuJ7kzqd2ryZv8KhT9yNn2h2zp1MLZcqel
Fabulous quotes! I'm going to save them. I'm a retired psychiatrist and those hidden skeletons, hidden feelings are killers.