I'm going to share this with my daughters and sons! I have tried to support and defend my girls' rights and dreams against this patriarchal society. They never pushed against the standards the way you did as a young baseball player or aspiring astronaut, but the systemic pressure and push to accept patriarchal norms is relentless everywhere in our society. I really appreciate your sharing the memories of the men who defended the best they could, and never waivered in their support even when there was literally nothing they could do to break some of those barriers!
Now you've got me sobbing. Men like you and my dad and son standing with us means something so deep I can't even describe it to you. It's a solid place to stand that leaves me with profound gratitude. There's something about your dad telling you that your rights aren't for sale, that your dreams are as valid as those of a man, that you have value as a person that transcends the rules that others will make for you, that you deserve EVERYTHING that ANYBODY deserves that rings with super authority, maybe specifically because the society says he's ENTITLED to be better than you but HE knows you're worth everything he is. Your daughters won't realize for years what you've done for them -- and your sons won't fully bet it until they step into your shoes and be the man for their daughters and sons that you are for yours. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL.
This deeply moved me. I didn’t have a dad who fought for me but my mom fought the good fight to help me in a similar way. She never served but she riveted planes for Boeing during WW2. It was from her I learned to do household repairs. As you say, I will miss her forever.
I recall when I wasn’t allowed to take drafting in high school in the 1970s. I was a math and science mavin and considered engineering as a possible future career so I wanted to take drafting. I was told I could only get in if all the boys who signed up got a place first and there was room left. There wasn’t.This would change but not in time for me. I was also heavily recruited by the military academies such as West Point because I could be in the second class where they admitted women. Ultimately I didn’t see that as my path and I think for me it was the right choice but I recall thinking that this was a barrier for women I might want to take on. Your father and son sound like people I’d want to know. You’re lucky to have them and clearly you had a big role in forming them as the feminists they showed themselves to be.
Grrrrrr. Slamming career doors on us is so AWFUL. The similar experience I had was in pre-med at the University of South Carolina. The year I entered the program, there were three other women in pre-med. The Dean and three professors sat the four of us down and suggested we leave the program. One was particularly hostile in outright saying WE WERE TAKING THE PLACES THAT BELONGED TO MEN because we were going to go through pre-med, go to med school as tokens, and then promptly get pregnant and DEPRIVE society of a much-needed doctor. ... He couldn't have said anything that would have motivated us more!!!!!! But, GRRRRRRRRRRR. Or, GTF out of my sight.
Bless your father & your son’s lives & all they went through in service to our country…bless your life as well. My military father became my oppressor when I started to grow up telling me to “learn my place as a girl & that he never wanted to see me up in another tree with a bunch of boys again.” I’m glad you had a father who supported you. I feel sad for my own father’s ignorance but I am grateful to him for us service to our country in his long military career. Vietnam broke him & then then he broke our family when he returned & he retired.
Tremendously inspiring story. Thanks for sharing!
i love the power of you saying “ Get out of my sight” to the NSA guy.
I'm going to share this with my daughters and sons! I have tried to support and defend my girls' rights and dreams against this patriarchal society. They never pushed against the standards the way you did as a young baseball player or aspiring astronaut, but the systemic pressure and push to accept patriarchal norms is relentless everywhere in our society. I really appreciate your sharing the memories of the men who defended the best they could, and never waivered in their support even when there was literally nothing they could do to break some of those barriers!
Now you've got me sobbing. Men like you and my dad and son standing with us means something so deep I can't even describe it to you. It's a solid place to stand that leaves me with profound gratitude. There's something about your dad telling you that your rights aren't for sale, that your dreams are as valid as those of a man, that you have value as a person that transcends the rules that others will make for you, that you deserve EVERYTHING that ANYBODY deserves that rings with super authority, maybe specifically because the society says he's ENTITLED to be better than you but HE knows you're worth everything he is. Your daughters won't realize for years what you've done for them -- and your sons won't fully bet it until they step into your shoes and be the man for their daughters and sons that you are for yours. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL.
This deeply moved me. I didn’t have a dad who fought for me but my mom fought the good fight to help me in a similar way. She never served but she riveted planes for Boeing during WW2. It was from her I learned to do household repairs. As you say, I will miss her forever.
I recall when I wasn’t allowed to take drafting in high school in the 1970s. I was a math and science mavin and considered engineering as a possible future career so I wanted to take drafting. I was told I could only get in if all the boys who signed up got a place first and there was room left. There wasn’t.This would change but not in time for me. I was also heavily recruited by the military academies such as West Point because I could be in the second class where they admitted women. Ultimately I didn’t see that as my path and I think for me it was the right choice but I recall thinking that this was a barrier for women I might want to take on. Your father and son sound like people I’d want to know. You’re lucky to have them and clearly you had a big role in forming them as the feminists they showed themselves to be.
Grrrrrr. Slamming career doors on us is so AWFUL. The similar experience I had was in pre-med at the University of South Carolina. The year I entered the program, there were three other women in pre-med. The Dean and three professors sat the four of us down and suggested we leave the program. One was particularly hostile in outright saying WE WERE TAKING THE PLACES THAT BELONGED TO MEN because we were going to go through pre-med, go to med school as tokens, and then promptly get pregnant and DEPRIVE society of a much-needed doctor. ... He couldn't have said anything that would have motivated us more!!!!!! But, GRRRRRRRRRRR. Or, GTF out of my sight.
Bless your father & your son’s lives & all they went through in service to our country…bless your life as well. My military father became my oppressor when I started to grow up telling me to “learn my place as a girl & that he never wanted to see me up in another tree with a bunch of boys again.” I’m glad you had a father who supported you. I feel sad for my own father’s ignorance but I am grateful to him for us service to our country in his long military career. Vietnam broke him & then then he broke our family when he returned & he retired.
Nurjam, thank you SO much for writing this. I'm sorry you dad pressured you with gender norms. It''s AWFUL. I have something for you. About a year ago I edited a book by a woman who grew up as a Military Brat. Her name is Caren Town, and how her book is out. It's on Amazon. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. She talks about all of this stuff, and how crippling these career military guys can be for their families. It's here ... I hope it is as enlightening for you (and healing) as it's been for others of my friends. https://www.amazon.com/Brat-Life-Growing-Military-Nonfiction/dp/1476676968/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.kdzW7WJ17iq4zqoDPifDplmxCqwZTDFyZr9MYjm69R7P-Q9ZqFNP-df_ra23muR1aouprTkEh7hUrYwKbNy60olwgJxvYwBGLfQ0n9pcVnw.j9b-sYONdGX_NHbSDcrEF2ao2vwKmtkniq6eBrcgO7s&qid=1716832879&sr=8-1
Thank you! I will!
A wonderful family 🇺🇸history🇺🇸